Vinyl, Cassettes & Retail

The 10 Worst Music Catalog Marketing Ideas Ever

(Updated) From The Orchard's Daily Rind blog via Proper Discord:image from

1. "We’ve noticed that a competitor’s compilation is selling well, so we spent five minutes creating an almost identical one, and although we are offering no promotional plan or marketing support, we’d like you devise and fund a major retail marketing campaign for it."

2. "Wagner for Relaxation"

3. "You already have this product in stock, but we’ll be sending you a new copy with slightly different artwork. Can you promote it?"

4. "The best-selling singles of Gustav Mahler"

5. "You’ve had this record in stock since it was released three years ago, but our company took over distribution of the label last week. Customers will want to know that, right?"

6. "Demand is inversely proportional to price, so if we make it free, everybody will want it. Then we’ll really be in business."

7. "The current financial climate has caused us to rethink the amount of music that constitutes “Every Piece Of Classical Music You’ll Ever Need”. To this end, we have created this 100-track addendum entitled “All The Other Pieces Of Classical Music You’ll Ever Need”.

8. "People really like Pachelbel’s Canon, but they don’t like his other music. Clearly, the problem here has to do with cover art."

9. "Classical Music for Fishing"

10. "The cover of this bad compilation album looks a bit like the poster for that movie that isn’t the sequel to the Da Vinci Code."

Share on:


  1. The posting quite clearly says that the orchard is NOT THE SOURCE of the pitches, but rather a blog called Proper Discord.

  2. I could be wrong, but I think you need to flip it so that it says what you want it to say: From the blog Proper Dischord via The Orchard’s Daily Rind (it’s written by this guy, but we got it from these guys)

  3. This is not really funny. And why are they seemingly talking about classical music only?

  4. FYI – Proper Discord is the blog run by the iTunes Classical Music programmer

Comments are closed.