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Top Ten Reasons Why Listeners Think Radio Sucks

image from static.howstuffworks.com No surprise to anyone, the National Association of Broadcasters still wants government mandated FM tuners to be put in your cell phone. The revelation though is that they are now boasting research poll results that 78% of phone owners would consider paying a one-time fee of 30 cents to gain access to local radio stations through the build-in chip. The top reason: they want to listen to the weather and their local stations on their phone

As well, 73% said that having a radio forced into their phone that’s capable of providing “local weather and emergency alerts in real-time would be ‘very’ or ‘somewhat’ important.” Aside from my obvious opposition of letting the government design cell phones or giving the radio industry—that proudly claims that it’s audience is growing—any type of free pass that allows it to grow their audience without innovating. I propose instead, as Rob Pegoraro at The Washington Post has, that wireless manufacturers and carriers should return the favor to the NAB. They should commission their own surveys on the number of major issues that radio has. I can already imagine the interesting results:

Top Ten Reasons Why Listeners Think Radio Sucks

  1. 98% of radio listeners were unaware that artists aren’t compensated when their music is played on the air, indicating that they were “severely” concerned as why they these practices are still allowed.

  2. 87% of radio listeners remarked that—if a government mandated FM-tuner is installed in their next cell phone—they “deeply longed” for days when their “local” radio station wasn’t owned by 1 of 4 corporations.

  3. 95% of radio listeners adamantly complained that after 8 years of being tortured with the songs “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous” by Good Charlotte and "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne; they’re sick of hearing them.

  4. 88% of car drivers revealed that after driving through seven different states and having to change stations almost every half-hour that they still can’t tell the difference between any of the radio programming they heard.

  5. 75% of car drivers observed that they often get distracted while operating their motor vehicle because they changed stations so often that it was “remotely” or “highly” difficult to concentrate on their driving.

  6. 96% of those car drivers relayed that the major reason why they had to change stations all the time is because the DJ talks too much, a terrible song is playing, or it’s a commercial. Sometimes, all three.

  7. 95% of radio listeners testified that they never wanted to hear advertisements from bar-owners, car dealers, lawn-care services, banks, real-estate, Applebee’s, colleges, and grocery stores ever, ever again.

  8. 68% of radio listeners were surprised that their “local” radio station is actually syndicated from half-way across the country and that sound bites of their town name were thrown in because it’s the “nice-thing-to-do.”

  9. 95% of radio listeners confirmed that if they were allowed to watch laughing babies or funny cats on YouTube while they were driving that they would find this more entertaining than the "Morning Show" hosts.

  10. 100% of radio listeners and car drivers agreed that they would rather jump out a window or drive their car off a cliff than have to hear Ryan Seacrest announce what song is playing on their “local” radio station.

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