Music Business

21 Things You Didn’t Know About Music Critics

Band-of-Susans-with-Everett-TrueBy Everett True, music critic and blogger at Collapse Board.

With thanks to Mof Gimmers, whose recent comment on this thread inspired this:

  1. Music critics are NOT fucking cool – never have been, never will be
  2. Music critics couldn’t give a shit about pleasing the crowd
  3. Music critics don’t give a shit about the Next Big Thing
  4. Music critics do not have friends
  5. Music criticism is not a stand-in for celebrity
  6. Music critics hate people who think everything’s OK really
  7. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about getting their name on the door
  8. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about pissing off ‘contacts’
  9. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about impressing musicians
  10. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about impressing readers
  11. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about impressing themselves
  12. Music critics are not third-rate academics looking for some easy cash on the side
  13. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck about promotional budgets
  14. Music critics are not failed journalists
  15. Music critics are not failed musicians
  16. Music critics do not ‘meet and greet’
  17. Music critics do not hang out with other music critics
  18. Music criticism is not a stand-in for bedroom eyes
  19. Music criticism is not a band aid
  20. Music critics couldn’t give a fuck who they piss off
  21. Music critics DO NOT CARE about cool

Collapse Board: fighting to make music criticism unswervingly un-cool again.

 

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13 Comments

  1. Whoever wrote this post seems to really want everyone in the world to know how cool it is that he doesn’t give a fuck.

  2. So music critics are self-aggrandizing loners who compensate for poor social skills and insecurity with artificial posturing?
    Is that you Anne Rice?
    Also, was this originally a Live Journal post?

  3. Yawn. Somebody got frustrated. Always look up experienced music reviewers & read their testimonials to avoid getting lame reviews…

  4. WTF? This probably the least intelligent, and most absurd article ever on this site. Lucky the write doesn’t give a fuck.
    Hypebot – not sure if this was meant as a joke, but there wasn’t anything amusing, interesting or informative about it … please don’t put shite up like this, it demeans you and flies in the face of your otherwise excellent content.

  5. Funny Post. Much enjoyed it. It’s always good to get a little humor to help break up the workday …..It’s also amazing how devoid of any sense humor some of your other readers are….Glad I don’t have to work with any of them. 🙂

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