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How To Pretend You're At SXSW 2014 [or Stay At The Hotel Pool If You Are]

image from yzclient.comSXSW Music 2014 is underway, but perhaps your boss cut back on travel or you blew your budget on the trip to Midem. Either way, you can't afford to head to Texas this year, but don't want your hip rating to sink to the Osmond Family level. It could be that the chaise lounge by the hotel pool is so comfortable that you can't bear the thought of waiting in line to see Buzz Band 3.0. What ever your motivation, use these strategies to pretend that you jetted into Austin and didn't miss a thing. 

  1. poolTurn off your location or geotagging on Twitter, Foursquare and all your apps, so no one knows where you really are.
  2. Follow and contribute to the tweets at #SXSW
  3. No one can track you are when you call from your cell to share how good the bbq at Stubbs was last night.
  4. The safest answer to "Dude, where were you last night?" is always "Man, that line was too long. I'll try to catch up with you later." 
  5. Force yourself to listen to as many of the songs as you can stand on the partial unofficial SXSW 2014 torrrent and pick out a few to talk about that really suck. 
  6. TuneIn and 6.3 million other music streaming sites have special SXSW channels.
  7. AFTER SXSW: Print out the official schedules and maps. Crumple them up, sit and spill a little beer on them. Then leave them around your office during the week after the conference.