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# F**K LONG LINES: How To Pretend You’re At #SXSW 2016
- URL: https://www.hypebot.com/fk-long-lines-how-to-pretend-youre-at-sxsw-2016/
- Published: 2016-03-18T11:26:16.000Z
- Updated: 2016-03-18T11:26:16.000Z
- Description: SXSW 2016 is now well underway, but perhaps you blew your budget buying vinyl. Or it could be that the chaise lounge by the pool at your Austin hotel is so damn. Continue reading [https://www.hypebot.com/hypebot/2016/03/fk-long-lines-how-to-pretend-youre-at-sxsw-2016.html]
- Author: Bruce Houghton
- Tags: Conventions & Awards, DIY Advice & Tips, Music Business, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-01-21 10:22

[![image from yzclient.com](http://hypebot.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b36c69e2017d41db5488970c-150wi "image from yzclient.com")](http://hypebot.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b36c69e2017d41db5488970c-popup?ref=hypebot.com)**SXSW 2016** is now well underway, but perhaps you **blew your budget** buying vinyl. Or it could be that the chaise lounge **by the pool at your Austin hotel** is so damn comfortable that you **can't bear the thought of waiting in line** to see **Buzz Band #35769 2016 Edition**.

Whatever the reason you are not at every SXSW event, you still don't want your hip rating to sink to the Osmond Family level. So every year we offer strategies to pretend that you didn't miss a thing. 

1. **[![pool](http://hypebot.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b36c69e201bb08098eae970d-200wi "pool")](http://hypebot.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b36c69e201bb08098eae970d-popup?ref=hypebot.com)Turn off your location or geotagging** on Twitter, Foursquare and all your apps, so no one knows where you really are.
2. Follow and **the tweets at** **[#SXSW](http://twitter.com/?ref=hypebot.com#search?q=%23SXSW) and chime in like you are there.** "You're right dude, that band was amazing!"
3. **No one can track** you are when you **call from your cell** to share how good thebbq is at [Stubbs](http://www.stubbsaustin.com/?ref=hypebot.com).
4. **New this year: [Facebook Live](http://facebooklive.sxsw.com/?ref=hypebot.com)** streams aggregated by the social network on a [single page](http://facebooklive.sxsw.com/?ref=hypebot.com) for easy access. "I'm at ACL Live, where the band just went on, but I'm headed to…"
5. **The safest answer to "Where are you?"** is always "Man, that line was too long. I'll try to catch up with you later."
6. Force yourself to **listen** to as many of the songs as you can stand on the [**unofficial SXSW 2016 torrrent** ](http://www.sxswtorrent.com/2016?ref=hypebot.com)and pick out a few to talk about that really sucked.
7. **After SXSW:** Print out the **[official schedules](http://sxsw.com/schedule?ref=hypebot.com) and maps**. Crumple them up, sit and spill a little beer on them. Then leave them around your office during the week after the conference.

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