How to prevent and deal with band breakups

Just like rom-coms make relationships look sparkly, making it easy to forget about the real work it takes to sustain a healthy partnership, keeping a band together is much harder than just making good music.

by Philip Kinsher of Disc Makers Blog

From the outside, being in a band may seem like the best thing ever — and while many aspects are truly amazing, others aren’t nearly as glamorous as they seem. Just like marriages, friendships, families, sports teams, and business partnerships, being in a band requires the right sort of communication to make sure that everyone involved feels heard and appreciated — or you may eventually face the reality of your band breaking up.

When communications break down, goals diverge, or mutual respect goes out the window, your band breaking up may be on the horizon.

Band breaking up: Signs to look out for

Usually, a band breakup doesn’t happen out of the blue. Here are some warning signals to look for that can help you stop problems before they start:

• Punctuality and reliability issues. If band members start showing up late to rehearsals or missing meetings or gigs, that could be a signal that they’re dissatisfied and starting to mentally check out.
• Big arguments about small things. If band members start blowing up about deciding where to go for lunch or exactly which shade of purple to put as background on your next social media post, chances are deeper issues are at play.
• Your creativity isn’t happening. If you normally churn out a new song every week but haven’t written anything together in months, that may be a sign that something is up.
• Planning isn’t happening. Bands that are strong imagine a future together with recording, touring, and other cool happenings. The harder you’re finding it to dream up plans as a group — and take the steps to make them a reality — the more likely it is that a problem is afoot.
• Communication isn’t happening. When band members stop sharing their opinions and ideas, that could mean they’re investing less in the whole endeavor.
• The music is suffering. The quality or quantity of new music you’re making can be a strong indicator of how excited and invested everyone is about the band itself.
• Some band members are elevated as stars — and others are ignored. This doesn’t necessarily mean a breakup is going to happen, as many bands have members who are more celebrated than others. But it is a dynamic to pay attention to and manage so nobody ends up feeling short-changed.
• The vibe is just off. What else is there to say?

What to work on to prevent your band breaking up

Band breakups are not inevitable and many cracks in a group can get mended before the whole thing shatters. Here’s what to focus on to keep your band strong and in one piece.