The Great LimeWire Pizza Robbery
An Indie Label's Run In With LimeWire
The staff of New Your City indie label Dovecote usually spends Wednasday's evenings hanging out at The Music Box, a usually quiet joint where the often often gives away free pizza to help bring in a crowd. On a recent Wednesday they walked in to find the place far busier than usual. When a friend told them the free pizza had arrived, Pal and Kosuke from the label went to grab a slice and….
Woman: “Who the FUCK are you? And why are you eating our pizza?”
<Long pause> Kosuke and Paul look confused.
Kosuke: "Are you joking? Is this a joke?"
Woman: "No this is definitely NOT a joke. I want to know who you are and why you’re eating our pizza."
Kosuke: "Well our friend came in and told us there was free pizza at the bar. We are. So. Sorry. It was a misunderstanding."
Woman: (with unbridled entitlement) "This is a company party our CEO is here and you STOLE our pizza. Are you from out of town? Because let me tell you, NOTHING is free in New York City. Nothing is free… well maybe except for the condoms in Times Square."
Paul and Kosuke continue apologizing. They offer to pay for the two slices.
Woman: (didactically snobbish) "We don’t want your money. No. Enjoy the pizza, but you can’t steal other people’s things. You can’t take what’s not yours."
Again the duo continues their apologies. Kosuke tries to turn the situation around and befriend them.
Kosuke: "What company do you guys work for?"
Woman: "We work for Limewire."
<Long pause> Kosuke’s eyes go wide. Anger festers in his pupils.
Kosuke: Oh ok. Well I work at a record label so fuck you. You’ve stolen from us enough. (Bites pizza. Begins to walk away.)
Random Other Woman: (rehearsing the spiel corporate made her commit to memory in case she bumps into Lars Ulrich) "We can’t control what’s being shared by our users. If our users decide to share something illegal we can’t stop them…" (trails off)
Paul: "Well when are you going to figure out how to download pizza into my stomach."
(This is why we love Paul)
Paul and Kosuke return to the backroom utterly shocked and tell the rest of us what transpired. Paul’s anger builds. He stands up. Puts his bag on runs out the door, taking an entire pizza box with him. Matt T., a software developer at Limewire, tries to stop Paul by grabbing him and pouring beer all over his shirt, backpack, laptop, and pants.
A slice of pizza is a dollar.
So is a download from iTunes
Is a laptop a dollar?
Paul: "Goddamnit, that guy spilled beer on my laptop. Now I can’t download porn from Limewire tonight."
(Again, why we love Paul)
Dovecote isn’t anti-downloading. We’re anti-hypocritical-douchebag. Thanks for writing about our bands dickheads. Apparently you have a blog. We hope you sell more ads and shitty software that rips us off so you can buy more pizza.
from the Dovecoat Records blog
I must say Bruce, this article definitely brought a good “shine” to my day. It’s interesting how such a transaction could escalate over a valued pizza. Very interesting read.
Kevin Rivers
CEO, Xeinge
I think it’s a little different. When I eat your pizza you can’t eat it. If I make a copy of your song you can still listen to it.
Rafe
http://www.myspace.com/trickofdisaster
Forget that…I would have done the same and am very proud those gentlemen stood up against them once realizing who they were.
stealing my music is taking money out of my pocket; which I use to buy food – so, yes it is like taking my pizza.
If you thought they were uptight assholes at that pizza party, just try working there. The least hip company I ever worked for in my life. 98% of the people employed there don’t give two shits about artists.
If it wasn’t for the free pizza, you wouldn’t have been at the bar. Do I even have to explain where I’m going from here? Don’t most artists realize that people have to know who you are before they’ll go to your gigs or buy your albums?
Normally, I’d agree with you… but at a corporate party, this woman was presumably going to get to eat as much pizza as she wanted regardless of whether somebody took a slice off her plate.
It actually seems like a very good analogy to me.
The irony is pretty rich. Limewire people at a music bar is bad enough. But pouring beer on a record company guy for eating a freebie pizza takes the biscuit.