F**K LONG LINES: How To Pretend You’re At #SXSW 2016
SXSW 2016 is now well underway, but perhaps you blew your budget buying vinyl. Or it could be that the chaise lounge by the pool at your Austin hotel is so damn comfortable that you can't bear the thought of waiting in line to see Buzz Band #35769 2016 Edition.
Whatever the reason you are not at every SXSW event, you still don't want your hip rating to sink to the Osmond Family level. So every year we offer strategies to pretend that you didn't miss a thing.
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Turn off your location or geotagging on Twitter, Foursquare and all your apps, so no one knows where you really are. - Follow and the tweets at #SXSW and chime in like you are there. "You're right dude, that band was amazing!"
- No one can track you are when you call from your cell to share how good the bbq is at Stubbs.
- New this year: Facebook Live streams aggregated by the social network on a single page for easy access. "I'm at ACL Live, where the band just went on, but I'm headed to…"
- The safest answer to "Where are you?" is always "Man, that line was too long. I'll try to catch up with you later."
- Force yourself to listen to as many of the songs as you can stand on the unofficial SXSW 2016 torrrent and pick out a few to talk about that really sucked.
- After SXSW: Print out the official schedules and maps. Crumple them up, sit and spill a little beer on them. Then leave them around your office during the week after the conference.
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